just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
