I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
