We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
