I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
