If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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