I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
