you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize
