Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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