We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
