Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We're too hungover to prance.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
