Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
