You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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