I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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