I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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