he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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