Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
