I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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