well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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