is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
