i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
