I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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