He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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