Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
