i need an iv and a liver transplant
I intend to get homeless drunk
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
