Need sex. Gaining weight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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