Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
