So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
