She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you will always have a special place in my vag
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
