From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
