i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
