i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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