And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
