C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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