how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
