It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
