I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
