did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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