i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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