I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
