his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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