if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
