He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
