i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
