I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
