what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
