im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
