Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
