felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
