Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
