Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
