So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
someone owes me an orgasm
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
